Different Strokes
Mid-August will mark the one year anniversary of my arrival in Germany. I would like to think that I have learned a lot during that year. Perhaps not everything that I set out to learn, but many unexpected things about myself, my country, and different people.
One of the biggest hurdles has been adjusting to the people. At first I just assumed that most of them were rude, but now I realize it may be more complicated than that. There are many instances where I am now no longer sure if it is a case of "Jerk or German", which I joked with Mike would be a good name for a quiz show on the topic:
Brutal Honesty. At first I thought it was really rude when someone would tell you that they did not like your clothing or your cooking, but now I am starting to think that people are just a lot more direct here. Be careful when you ask someone for their opinion, because I don't think "little white lies" are very popular or well-known here. Their opinion will often come in the form of unsolicited advice, which I address later on. I cannot tell you how many people have informed me that my room stinks and I need to open the windows (Germans are obsessed with fresh air and obsessive window opening and shutting) or that I need to stop drinking soda or go for more walks outside. I am sure they mean well, but I am just not used to it.
Staring. Is it just me, or do many Europeans have no problem with staring you down? This makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I usually try to avoid making eye contact with people, but Mike tells me the only way to beat it is to stare back.
Dispensing Free Advice. Personally, I am not interested in hearing how other people think I should live my life, so I was really put off by all of the people telling me I should do this or do that. I think in the U.S. we value our independence and don't like being told what to do, so I do not respond to this very well and often react by thinking, "Why don't these people mind their own business?" Never in my life have I had so many people disapproving of my diet, hobbys, and social life, among many other things. It is probably a good thing, but in the U.S. I do not remember feeling so judged for drinking a Cola at lunch or for wanting to stay inside at my computer when the sun is shining. I'm sorry, I come from Arizona, where the sun almost always shines, so I may take it a little bit for granted.
Argumentative. I have had a few Germans argue with me just for the sake of arguing, it seemed. They have no problem disagreeing, and they will often flat out tell you that you are wrong. Maybe it's just me, but I think in the U.S. if we disagree we try to do it politely. Atleast I am not in the practice of telling people they are wrong directly or in eagerly continuing an argument just for the sake of it.
Recently I have started to worry that I am forming false opinions of people based on these types of behavior. I often interpret them as being rude, so I am having a really hard time deciding if a person is being a jerk or just a German. Definitely something I need to work on.